I have a special needs grandchild and she hates being called special. She feels that she is normal which makes it very difficult to know how to let her know we want to help her without letting her know we want to help her! I am not sure if other families understand this. She does not want to be treated like she is special when she is special. I have often thought should we say the word special. I don’t say it now as she gets so upset. What do we say and how do we help when trying to work with people who have special needs?? How do we help their self esteem? Most kids who struggle know they are not regular and often have low self esteem.

Another issue with raising kids who struggle is parents want to believe their kids are normal. The parents know their are issues but aren’t sure always how to help. But they also try hard to treat their children as if they are normal. Sometimes parents also feel guilty and may not discipline as well with special needs kids which causes behavior issues in some kids.

When one has kids who struggle it can be very difficult to know how and why they struggle. Every child is different in their own way which also makes it so difficult for parents and the school system to teach children who struggle. There are laws in each state which puts children in a track. In Alabama there are only three tracks. If a child does not fit into one of the tracks they can be very frustrated. They often can be in between the tracks. It is also so difficult for teachers to work with so many different students who all have different learning styles. I can’t imagine teaching 25 different children with 25 different learning styles. I do understand there may not be 25 different styles of learning but there may be 25 different speeds in learning along with learning styles.

As a homeschool mom it was much easier to work with 3 kids who had very different ways of learning. In public schools we are not allowed to have special kids in classrooms with other special kids and I get that. They will feel singled out. But kids who struggle are already singled out when they are in a classroom of 25 other kids. Kids do the job for us.

What is the answer?? I am asking and do not know myself. What do other parents do in these situations?

I bring this up because my grand daughter will be coming to get training on my farm. It is something I am thinking heavily about now. I also began thinking can farm life help these types of kids. Can programs on farms that teach lots of projects, caring for animals and plants help these types of kids. Can it build their self esteem? So I looked it up and found some cool programs!  I will post these here!!

https://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2013/03/04/15-farm-ranch-communities-for-individuals-with-special-needs/
Can we incorporate these ideas into our daily lives without sending folks to a special place??  Can we build on each individual where they are and not call them special? Can families learn how to do this without labels?? It does seem daunting and a huge task. Are there programs out there who do this now? I must believe some others have asked these questions!!  I would love comments and ideas about how others do this.

I think I have thought a lot about this over my life as my mother was born deaf. Her mother, my grandmother, would not send her away in the 1930s to a special school. She wanted her at home. My mom never learned sign language but did adapt to reading lips and was able to communicate after she got her first hearing aid at the age of 8. My mom went to school just like all of the other kids. I am not sure if anyone made fun of her. She wore a huge box in the front of her dress that was her hearing aid. She was embarrassed to have this at that age. But as she got older her box go smaller and smaller until it fit behind her ear. She was so much happier with that!  I remember when I was little she had a small box that she tucked down her in her bra. I remember when she got the behind the ear version. My mom was always mom and I never felt she was different. Can we make other special needs kids not feel different? Maybe that is not what is supposed to happen. Maybe we are supposed to learn it is ok to be different. But how do we keep others from harming all of us who are different??